Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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