I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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