i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
