jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
