I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
