either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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