I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
