just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
