I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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