dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
the raccoons are back...
Randomize