that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
