she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
