I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
