Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
