Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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