Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
