He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
