Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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