Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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