My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
