You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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