I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
