brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
