Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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