This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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