Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
