i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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