He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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