Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
