you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
