my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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