i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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