so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
