this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
my liver is dry heaving
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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