Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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