No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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