sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Drake has all the answers
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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