Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
