yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
