i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
