I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
