Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
