what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize