worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
try to milk me bitch
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
