You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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