Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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