I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
