Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
time to smoke my breakfast
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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