OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
