So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
