a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize