I'm gonna have a badass scar
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
