I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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