omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize