My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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