some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
