nut hugger
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
