Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
