its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
