The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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