Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
