YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
