Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
